I wanna bring you to show and tell
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
