This girl is more easily done than said...
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize