omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
