Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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