doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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