first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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