Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
