That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
