Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
