what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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