Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
