she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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