had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just cropdusted the office
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
