And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
