turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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