shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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