you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
