We won't sleep together?
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
