Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
