He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
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