GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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