my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
