she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
