You're so nebulous sometimes
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
