I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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