she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
