I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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