I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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