Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
