There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
