KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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