Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
