Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
