After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Randomize
