this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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