What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
