Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
