I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Randomize
