your room smells of hookers.
And success
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
