My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
