I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
