just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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