I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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