Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
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