It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize