So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
