Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
