Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
