i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
