please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Randomize
