You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
