playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it was like his penis was on wheels.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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