last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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