Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
