I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
