Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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