I think I died a long time ago.
just tell him i said nine months
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
