Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Randomize
