return my video game
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
