what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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