so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize