apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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