I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
