your room smells of hookers.
And success
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
