man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize