Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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