i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
