just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
it glows. i had to have it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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