im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
