I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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